misty mama

Me--Ricky Martin's Story

via www.amazon.com

I love this book.  I'm completely inspired by this man's journey.  It may come as a shock for some that first, i'm blogging about a pop star and second, that he is gay. However, we are in the 21st century and it is increasingly becoming one's reality.

A couple of years back, there was a mentor who came to the Waldorf Schools in Manila and commented that one of my son's had been joking about "being gay" replete with the corresponding actions and language.  Naturally, as a mother, I had to question where this came from; my household, my self, or conversations i had with husband that my son overheard, his friends, etc. but the Waldorf mentor indicated that it is a topic that is far too advanced for my son's age.  I didn't disagree and was a bit worried myself since i knew that my son was simply "mouthing off" or imitating someone he had seen, most probably an adult. So, next question was, How do you explain this concept to a, then 7-year old?  Well, I didn't. Not yet anyway. I was off the hook, albeit temporary.

I first saw the book in the New York Times bestselling list and thought, what could a musician be doing writing a book, an autobiography at that?!  Then I read some reviews and found out that he tells of his journey of self-acceptance, self-love and finding meaning in one's life.  What could be more UNIVERSAL and HUMAN than that! To me, his sexual preference is secondary to his human-ness as a whole.  In between the lines, this book is not only about accepting his sexuality "as if you could reduce a human being to that alone". He tells about his trips to India, going to an ashram, reconnecting to the child he was, stumbling on a most worthy cause of human trafficking;  and finally, fatherhood.  I learned a lot in this section, being a parent myself. I looked on to my own experiences in my personal relationships for example, and found that this is indeed why two people shouldn't live a lie simply for the sake of their children. So many parents out there not loving themselves which they in turn unconsciously give the same message to their children and the cycle goes on. 

Admittedly, his life is  "unconventional"  at best, however the choices borne out of seemingly "unconventional" methods, if done with self-examination, much reflection, surrender, and honesty can be nothing less than CONSCIOUS; a concious choice to accept, to love, to forgive and be happy. It is ultimately the best gift a parent can give to a child.

Absolute Beauty

I have been restless since yesterday, wanting to do something, feeling i was forgetting a task or a chore but none seemed to appear in my memory.  Last night, it was hard to settle to sleep thinking there was something..... anything. Well, I woke up this morning, after breakfast, and checked my mail, and there it was;  an email-- i had missed an appointment last night.  Grrrr.  It made me so uneasy, I started feeling bad as I was trying to ready my little girl for school. I was frustrated and she felt my frustration as I ran a brush through her hair.  I felt bad.  I was about to snap, and I did, she was looking at me about to cry because the dress she chose to wear was a bit tight around her body.  No words from her, just a look that said it all.  And if that wasn't enough, life wanted to add fuel to the fire and have our driver gone missing because my husband's Man Friday decided to buy materials in a neighborhood hardware store! Then the kids were late for school.  (All of them hate being late for school!)

Sh--! I wanted to scream!  But successfully stopped myself and went to the computer to write an apology for the appointment i missed. After the letter,  i started surfing and found a beautiful site of dress patterns I wished i could learn to read so i could sew them All!  It was in french though, a little problem there.  It was beautiful nonetheless, because the color theme of her site was the deep purple of my le creuset! I was momentarily calmed... Thank God.  The wonders of quick quick technology. ( like the mind)

So, I was a bit thrown off this morning.... and I clamored over the books I had by my bedside and I opened up the Absolute Beauty book, and on Chapter 14 under Soul Purification and the Principles of Action, it states,

I become what I see in myself.  All that thought suggests to me, I can do.  All that thought reveals in me, I can become.  This should be man's unshakable faith in himself because God dwells in him. --Sri Aurobindo

I was calmed further.  She starts the chapter by saying, "When we know our purpose in life, thought is clear and action is clear.  That is what we mean by balance, which is necessary for healthy, glowing skin."  I must give you a little history on this, and my concern for "healthy, glowing  skin".I believe that in general, I have been blessed with good skin.  I mean, I had my share of skin problems growing up but in retrospect, it was nothing really major.  Until three years ago, acne started appearing on my face, here and there and it became a constant presence during the month.  I started worrying.  Of course at that time, we were building a house, I was teaching a class and mid year we moved out of my house in Parañaque to move to Greenhills while the kids and I were going to a school in Santa Rosa, Laguna.  It was a trek, both in the morning and early evening.  I attributed it to stress, obviously.  But I thought it was strange that my body was reacting in this way.  I've been stressed before, what's different now. (older for one)  Well, in the next months and years, I've had to deal with these bad breakouts.  Hence the book.  So, in my case, i've had to go back to a cleansing regimen both day and night; I  hunt for the most naturaI facial products in the market, both local and international. Also and most importantly,  I have  become convinced that there is so much inner work that one must do to achieve the state of balance from within, and without. 

I like another quote in the book, on the same chapter,

"Soul doesn't pour into life automatically.  It requires our skill and attention."--Thomas Moore

These were my thoughts this morning. Hoping for a better half of day.

CONNECTED

 My eldest, T, is home from school after a bad allergic reaction. His eyes puffed up and he couldn't see very well and was losing his balance. I was a little surprised but am glad it didn't get worse. Teachers in school gave him Benadryl, an antihistamine and it seemed to work. So many people these days seem to have reactions to something in the air? grass? who knows.

I have listed the book, Connected, on my sidebar. Take a quick look. I was browsing the other day at the locaI bookstore and found it.  The title is so intriguing especially liked when he was talking about how humans are really wired to imitate other humans. And mind you, we don't have to be conscious about doing it. In fact, half the time, we don't realize that the people around us, in a household for example, or the social networks we've formed through our friends, and friend's friend, and friend's friend friend, really influence the decisions we make. From our everyday behaviour, our health ( allergic reactions above) the decision to vote, etc. According to their research, everybody in the world can be traced to six degrees of separation! and the rule of our influence on another is three degrees of separation. Facebook, by the way, stops at two degrees since you have to friend someone before you can connect. Amazing. It was already giving me a scare because it's concretely showing me people I know in PICTURES!!!